A couple weeks ago my roommate and I decided to pull up some weeds from the front of our house. I know nothing about flowers or plants, or really anything that grows up from the ground. I kill everything green. So, before I pulled anything up, I would ask Evan, "This is a weed, right?" It was somewhat confusing because a lot of the weeds were just beautiful. I thought maybe they had been planted there on purpose.
And then a few days ago, on my run, I saw a few more beautiful weeds in a ditch. They were so colorful and enticing. I almost picked a few for my daughter, but when I got closer I saw they were filled with thorns--same with the ones in the garden in front of my house. I got to thinking...
Are there things in my life right now that are like these weeds--seemingly beautiful and harmless, but might be something I need to pull up? I think so.
Anyone who follows my blog (or my life) knows that we've been trying to have another baby the past year and a half. And also, recently, we've been trying to buy a house in Nashville. These things are good, and are such beautiful gifts. But have they become weeds in my heart? Have the good intentions of settling down and committing to a city and group of people become a temptation to acquire the things of the world and be satisfied in them? I've been sucked into the "American dream" by simply looking at houses the past couple months. I've found myself calling some houses beautiful and some ugly and being drawn to neighborhoods filled with people just like me. I've found myself being incredibly narrow-minded in the places in Nashville that I would or wouldn't want to live. I've found myself imagining the perfect family--healthy kid(s) and a happy husband.
When did I start thinking this way? Part of our purpose in moving to Nashville was for the sake of diversity and having more of a "city feel", so why all the sudden am I only drawn to the "nice" neighborhoods and the craftsman houses that are WAY out of our budget? This feels like a recipe for disaster for me. I know myself well enough to know that if I were to get a house in a neighborhood like this, I would become so comfortable that I'd never want to leave and I'd only hang out with people just like me. This is SO NOT what Jesus has called me to. I've been called to love all people, especially those who are not just like me. I've been called to be a good steward of the money God has given me, which includes not living outside my means. I've been called to pursue holiness and not the "American dream." I've been called to seek Jesus and not the pleasures of this world.
It's time to stop watering the weeds. I need to pull up the colorful flowers with thorny stems that will eventually harm me, and water the seeds that actually need to grow.
God, as I search for a house and long to build my family, let me seek your standards in those things, not the world's. Show me all that needs to be pulled up.
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