In three days Sybil will be six months old. That means she has been with me for half of a year. Unbelievable. We've had kind of a rough start: one week overdue, emergency c-section, wouldn't eat=losing crucial newborn weight, hip dysplasia, thrush, wouldn't eat again, reflux, and yup, that's about it. But in all this, she has brought me so much joy. Knowing now the love of a parent--a mother specifically--changes everything.
Tomorrow is Easter, and this week I've thought a lot about Mary and how she felt when she watched her Son and God's Son suffer and die and rise again to save the world.
I cannot imagine her pain and internal suffering festering as she watched people physically destroy her Son. She watched as the God-Man was whipped and beaten, skin being torn from his sides, nails being driven into flesh and bone. I can almost feel the hot tears welling up in her eyes, the burning in her throat as she held back screams of injustice, knowing that this was His plan all along.
As a mother, I cannot imagine that feeling of helplessness when it comes to your child. I want to cry when Sybil has a cold or is not getting the nutrition she needs. So clearly I cannot fathom what it would be like to watch your child being beaten and ridiculed before your eyes. I would come apart. I would scream and fight to get to my child with all that I had. I would probably get myself killed while trying to save my child from the suffering before me. But Mary. She was an incredible woman of God. She stood by and supported her Son as he sacrificed Himself to save sinners--to save even her. Oh, Mary. The one who said (in regards to being chosen to carry the Son of God), "Behold, I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word." (Luke 1:38). I wonder if she knew all the emotions that would come with her servitude. I want to be more like her. But more importantly, I want to be more like the Son she raised.
Jesus, conform me to your image. Thank you for being the perfect Lamb slain for me, defeating death once and for all.
Happy Easter, everyone. Hallelujah, He's risen!
Saturday, March 30, 2013
Friday, March 8, 2013
My best friends: Jesus and the breast pump
These days of parenting seem to be increasingly difficult.
Maybe it's me. Maybe it's my child. Or maybe it's the Lord trying to teach me valuable lessons. Most likely it's all three.
Sybil hates eating. Yes, you read that correctly. More importantly, she hates drinking. You put anything on a spoon and she'll eat it. Give her the breast or a bottle (filled with anything) and she'll turn her head in a 360 like the girl on the Exorcist, pursing her lips together and squealing like a child being abducted. (Okay, that's a bit of an exaggeration--but not much.)
Syb had thrush (or "Thrust," Andrew calls it--kid you not) for about a month from late December to late January. We tried everything to get rid of it--dietary changes, natural oils, sanitization of everything, anti-fungal creams and medicines, etc. Finally, about two weeks ago we seemed to be completely rid of the Beast. She then breastfed as well as any four-month-old would, being distracted by everything and talking during each feeding...not getting a whole lot, but being satisfied.
That lasted for about a day.
She then decided she didn't want the breast and would not eat. I repeat, my child would not eat.
So, I introduced formula and bottles on a regular basis, while also always offering my breast first. So for the last two weeks she has been breast feeding 1-2 times per day and bottle feeding the rest with either pumped milk or formula.
You know what that means? It means that if I want to keep my milk supply at all, I'm now best friends with the breast pump. I swear, every time my husband walks through the door, I'm sitting on the couch with my boob hanging out, pumping perfectly good milk while my child sits happily on the floor waiting to drink it from a bottle. This is craziness, people.
Now, before y'all judge me (you perfect mothers out there), you must realize I've read every blog on breast feeding, read La Leche League book (and website), talked to a lactation consultant, and talked to my pediatrician twice. I am doing everything I can to hold on to breast feeding and do what's best for my child.
In the meantime, the breast pump and Jesus truly are my best friends. I'm praying before and during every feeding--asking for grace to get through. And let's get real; Jesus created the breast pump and it is the best thing ever since sliced bread for us struggling moms. So I'm glad to call it my friend.
On a more encouraging note, Sybil is gaining well over the average amount per week for a breastfed baby her age and her diaper output is more than enough. So, she's not in the danger zone health-wise, although she is mommy-wise.
Here are a few amazing websites I've been using:
http://www.kellymom.com
http://www.lalecheleague.org
http://www.babycenter.com
I hope all you breast feeding moms out there find help in your time of need by approaching the throne of Grace and visiting some of these websites :)
Maybe it's me. Maybe it's my child. Or maybe it's the Lord trying to teach me valuable lessons. Most likely it's all three.
Sybil hates eating. Yes, you read that correctly. More importantly, she hates drinking. You put anything on a spoon and she'll eat it. Give her the breast or a bottle (filled with anything) and she'll turn her head in a 360 like the girl on the Exorcist, pursing her lips together and squealing like a child being abducted. (Okay, that's a bit of an exaggeration--but not much.)
Syb had thrush (or "Thrust," Andrew calls it--kid you not) for about a month from late December to late January. We tried everything to get rid of it--dietary changes, natural oils, sanitization of everything, anti-fungal creams and medicines, etc. Finally, about two weeks ago we seemed to be completely rid of the Beast. She then breastfed as well as any four-month-old would, being distracted by everything and talking during each feeding...not getting a whole lot, but being satisfied.
That lasted for about a day.
She then decided she didn't want the breast and would not eat. I repeat, my child would not eat.
So, I introduced formula and bottles on a regular basis, while also always offering my breast first. So for the last two weeks she has been breast feeding 1-2 times per day and bottle feeding the rest with either pumped milk or formula.
You know what that means? It means that if I want to keep my milk supply at all, I'm now best friends with the breast pump. I swear, every time my husband walks through the door, I'm sitting on the couch with my boob hanging out, pumping perfectly good milk while my child sits happily on the floor waiting to drink it from a bottle. This is craziness, people.
Now, before y'all judge me (you perfect mothers out there), you must realize I've read every blog on breast feeding, read La Leche League book (and website), talked to a lactation consultant, and talked to my pediatrician twice. I am doing everything I can to hold on to breast feeding and do what's best for my child.
In the meantime, the breast pump and Jesus truly are my best friends. I'm praying before and during every feeding--asking for grace to get through. And let's get real; Jesus created the breast pump and it is the best thing ever since sliced bread for us struggling moms. So I'm glad to call it my friend.
On a more encouraging note, Sybil is gaining well over the average amount per week for a breastfed baby her age and her diaper output is more than enough. So, she's not in the danger zone health-wise, although she is mommy-wise.
Here are a few amazing websites I've been using:
http://www.kellymom.com
http://www.lalecheleague.org
http://www.babycenter.com
I hope all you breast feeding moms out there find help in your time of need by approaching the throne of Grace and visiting some of these websites :)
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