Let me start with something important that maybe some of you don't know yet; I'M PREGNANT!
For more on that, visit this post.
The reason we haven't been super public with this AMAZING news is because this pregnancy is so sacred to us. We, or mainly I, really struggled with finding contentment the last two and a half years during my sickness and infertility. Now that we are miraculously pregnant (and almost halfway done with this pregnancy!), I feel like I'm in a better place to talk about it. There's so many factors to why I've been quiet about this. Here are some things I've been learning that I don't think are only linked to this pregnancy, but life in general.
1. I'm kind of over social media.
A while back, I did a social media fast and felt like my life was enriched without it. Social media became simply a time-waster for me and I always walked away discouraged after I was on it. So, I'm still a member of Facebook and go on occasionally when I need something, but for the most part, I never post (aside from this blog). Instagram is a different story for me. I follow like 70 people and they are all people I care about. If I don't let you be my Instagram friend, it's not because I don't love you, it's because I simply need to limit who is in my social media life. This brings me to a point about social media--for me, it is an avenue to communicate to the people who know about my real life, not those I haven't talked to in 10 years.
2. I'm protective over this wonderful miracle.
I feel like in my stage of life, pregnancy is just another norm. While we were trying to get pregnant for so long, I'd see people post every day on Facebook about their pregnancies. That was hard for me. When such big news is posted on social media, it loses it's exclusivity and becomes just common knowledge. When we got pregnant, I had a really hard time sharing it with people. This was huge for us and such a miracle that we needed time to ponder it in our hearts and keep it sacred. I felt like because my journey through sickness and a couple years of infertility had only been shared with a few close friends, family and community, that this pregnancy should be the same way.
3. I'm more sensitive to those who struggle with infertility or who have lost a child now.
Me not posting, or being hesitant to share this news, has been for the sake of others too. I was just on the other side of this a few months ago and I know how dark it can be. I wanted to be sensitive to my friends struggling in the silence of their homes. And now that I have shared, I hope this is an encouragement to all those struggling--miracles do happen! And even if they don't, there is a very real God listening to our hearts and giving us what we need when we need it, not necessarily when we want it.
But now, I am ready to share it with the world! We are having a miracle baby in June and we are so thankful to the Lord that he has given us another child. This is all mercy, all grace.
