For those of you who don't know, I've had a "falling out" with my sister. I don't like to even call it that because it was a choice by me and my husband. Almost a year ago exactly, we took the risk of never being able to have a relationship with my sister again by simply speaking some hard truths into her life, knowing she might not receive them well. And she didn't. I cried and I wrestled with God about her response. I hated the fact that she didn't understand what I was saying and that I was saying it in love. However, I do not regret what I said or that I said it, for me, to not say it would be a sin. ("So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin." James 4:17) So now, here we are a year later, still not having talked after that conversation. She gets married in 8 weeks and I will, most likely, not be at the wedding. A family's worst nightmare, right?
I've always talked about the cost of following Christ, and over the years I've experienced some trials and persecutions that come from following Him, but by far, this has been the most difficult. So, over the last year, as I've prayed and talked about the situation over and over again, I have come to a conclusion...
Jesus came to divide. He came with a sword to separate followers of Christ and followers of this world.
"Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. And a person's enemies will be those of his own household. Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. And whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it." Matthew 10:34-39
Jesus also shows us what family is to him in Matthew 12:46-50
"While he was still speaking to the people, behold, his mother and his brothers stood outside, asking to speak to him. But he replied to the man who told him, 'Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?' And stretching out his hand toward his disciples, he said, 'Here are my mother and my brothers! For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.'"
If we are called to live like Christ and to walk as he walked ("By this we may know that we are in him: whoever says he abides in him ought to walk in the same way in which he walked." 1 John 2:6), then we are to view family as he views it. We are to make hard decisions in some of our relationships. We are to pick up our cross and follow him...to death (and resurrection and life!).
Thankfully, still some of my family members are united with me in the blood of Christ, not just the blood in our veins. Many of you might have families who all know and walk with Jesus, and therefore you have close relationships with each person in the family unit. Count yourselves blessed. For to not have that and to have to sever an artery of family is to go against the grain of this world, and to break our hearts.
Please hear me in this, I'm not telling you that if you have unbelievers in your family, you must cut off ties completely. In fact, I would discourage that greatly--and instead, encourage you to love them well with the love of Christ and pray for them to come to know Him. I am saying, however, that the day will come where following Jesus will absolutely get in the way of fitting in with your family, if you're in love with Jesus, that is. I'm also saying that the people who have been washed in the blood of the Lamb are your true family, not the people who look like you because of genetics.
What is your definition of family? Is it the same as Jesus'?
