We went to India and I remained healthy the whole trip. God was so faithful to keep me. I did NOT want to be sick in a hospital in India. And I wasn't. Praise God.
But now I'm back to real life. I had my six-week follow up appointment yesterday, and I just got off the phone with the dr. this morning. The results:
The beast is still there.
It's not over yet.
I'm healing, but not healed.
It has gotten smaller, but has not disappeared.
Apparently, there is still fluid in my tubes and still a "cystic form" on my right ovary. The dr. said she thinks there is no reason to have any more appointments. (Also, praise God.) Unless I start to feel sick again, she said that she is confident I am healing and that "an infection like mine takes time to go away." And then she said, "Call me in six months if you're not pregnant by then. It is still the waiting game."
Anxiety immediately entered my heart again. I don't want to play the waiting game anymore. Hasn't it been long enough? Isn't it time for this trial to be done?
And then, again, I read Spurgeon's words:
"Severe trouble in a true believer has the effect of loosening the soul's roots earthward and tightening the heart's anchor-hold heavenward. How can we love a world that has become so dismal?...
Afflictions clip our wings with regard to earthly things, and we cannot fly from our dear Master's hand. Yet the same affliction makes our wings grow with regard to heavenly things. We are feathered like eagles. A thorn is in our nest, and we catch the soaring spirit. We spread our wings toward the sun...
Affliction, when sanctified by the Holy Spirit, brings much glory to God through the believer's experience with the Lord's faithfulness."
Friends, there is no truer word. Through this trial, I am being loosened from earth's anchor and drawn toward Christ on his throne. It is not easy to say, but in the depths of my heart, I mean it; I am thankful for this trial because it is God's kindness to me in showing me that his love is better than life.
The Lord has been faithful, and his faithfulness continues.
Pray for a miracle. Pray for a baby. God can do all things. And pray for my faith in the waiting.
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