Easter and Motherhood

In three days Sybil will be six months old. That means she has been with me for half of a year. Unbelievable. We've had kind of a rough start: one week overdue, emergency c-section, wouldn't eat=losing crucial newborn weight, hip dysplasia, thrush, wouldn't eat again, reflux, and yup, that's about it. But in all this, she has brought me so much joy. Knowing now the love of a parent--a mother specifically--changes everything.

Tomorrow is Easter, and this week I've thought a lot about Mary and how she felt when she watched her Son and God's Son suffer and die and rise again to save the world.

I cannot imagine her pain and internal suffering festering as she watched people physically destroy her Son. She watched as the God-Man was whipped and beaten, skin being torn from his sides, nails being driven into flesh and bone. I can almost feel the hot tears welling up in her eyes, the burning in her throat as she held back screams of injustice, knowing that this was His plan all along.

As a mother, I cannot imagine that feeling of helplessness when it comes to your child. I want to cry when Sybil has a cold or is not getting the nutrition she needs. So clearly I cannot fathom what it would be like to watch your child being beaten and ridiculed before your eyes. I would come apart. I would scream and fight to get to my child with all that I had. I would probably get myself killed while trying to save my child from the suffering before me. But Mary. She was an incredible woman of God. She stood by and supported her Son as he sacrificed Himself to save sinners--to save even her. Oh, Mary. The one who said (in regards to being chosen to carry the Son of God), "Behold, I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word." (Luke 1:38). I wonder if she knew all the emotions that would come with her servitude. I want to be more like her. But more importantly, I want to be more like the Son she raised.

Jesus, conform me to your image. Thank you for being the perfect Lamb slain for me, defeating death once and for all.

Happy Easter, everyone. Hallelujah, He's risen!