in-fat-u-ate

I want to be infatuated.
I want to be obsessed. In every sense of the word.

In-fat-u-ate: to inspire or possess with a foolish or unreasoning passion, as of love (dictionary.com)

I want this for my soul--my inner-most being. Lord, give me an infatuation with Christ Jesus. And give it to me quick.

I think of the Gospels and all the testimonies of people Christ helped. The woman caught in adultery, the man at the pool who had been lame for 38 years, the poor man possessed by demons and chained to the ground, the woman hemorrhaging for years, spending all her money on cures and failing to find hope in anything, and on and on it goes... These people, I'm sure, after being healed or even just being in the presence of Christ, were infatuated. I mean, can you imagine meeting a Man/the God who suddenly met your every need and made you whole in an instant? Obviously, immediate infatuation would occur.

I am one of these people--healed from the inside out--yet, still I ask why does my infatuation with Him not follow? I was lost and searching. A sinner, chained and dead. And He came, in grace and truth and offered a freedom I didn't even know I needed. How can this Just and Righteous God come to a lowly sinner and offer Grace? I do not know, but I don't have to know in order to receive it. In fact, I'll spend the rest of my life trying to understand. And with each small glimpse of understanding, I'll fall more in love and become more infatuated with the One who came to save me.

So today, with the grace I've been given from my husband (who willingly stayed with Sybil so I could get out), I pray for infatuation. And I ask you'd pray for it too.